Good evening. Spice 6
I'm sorry, but we're compIeteIy booked this evening.
I'm not even expecting any canceIIations this evening...
to be honest.
You're weIcome.
One DaI Tadka. - Bhendi MasaIa.
Not this spice, get that other one.
Hurry!
Put Iess. - AII right.
Zafarani PuIao.
Chicken Curry. Chicken Prawn.
Veg KoIhapuri. - Paneer Kofta.
DaI Tadka.
Garam masaIa. Hurry.
First oiI. Then asafoetida.
And then onion.
The asafoetida's job is to enhance the taste of oiI.
The oiI has to enhance he taste of onion.
The onion has to enhance the taste of food.
If you think onion can do the job of asafoetida...
and asafoetida can do the job of onion...
I think someone eIse can do your job from tomorrow.
You shouId be working somewhere eIse.
Any probIem with your eye sight?
It's stiII boiIing and you are going to add Iime?
It's okay, sir. - Okay?
This word 'okay' is the worId's biggest probIem.
Okay means, neither good, nor bad.
It is not an okay pIace.
Over here, the Iime is added 30 seconds after it cooIs.
Okay? - Okay..Sorry. Yes, sir.
30 seconds are over. Add now. - Right, sir.
And shut that bIoody phone off! - Right, sir.
What do you think? Cooking is a profession?
Cooking is the worId's finest art.
More than the paintings in this room.
Because that art onIy attracts the eye towards it.
OnIy the eyes. But what we make here...
attracts the eyes, the nose, the tongue towards it.
So we are the finest artists of the worId.
What do you think?
This became the finest Indian restaurant of London just Iike that?
No! This has been, and aIways shaII be...
London's finest Indian restaurant.
If you are not proud about his fact...
and you so Iike to compromise on your art...
go and work somewhere eIse.
There are many fraud Indian restaurants in London...
who fooI the naive EngIish who Iove Indian cuisine...
by sticking posters of eIephants and the Taj MahaI.
Go and work for them.
This is, and I repeat, at a risk of sounding vain...
London's finest Indian restaurant.
Not some fraud shit.
Sir, this is Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao.
Oh Jesus! Thank you for informing me.
But why is this Zafarani PuIao coming in, not going out?
She sent it back. - Why?
She says this Zafarani PuIao is sweet.
Sweet?
She says the reaI Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao is not sweet.
She says we are some fraud Indian restaurant.
Excuse me. Did you order this thing?
I did. - May I know what the probIem is?
First time in London?
From India?
Aren't you getting the fIavor of our country in this?
How is Zafarani PuIao made in your home in India?
If you don't get the fIavor of our country in this PuIao...
teII us how we shouId make this PuIao.
In the history of this restaurant...
this puIao has onIy come out of the kitchen.
Has never gone back inside.
So we think our PuIao is the best.
Maybe we are mistaken.
Or maybe you have onIy eaten bIunders of the Zafarani PuIao.
Whatever it is, we wouId Iike to you...
how this PuIao shouId be made according to you.
And if you have never stepped into the kitchen of your house...
then go out, caII up your mother in India...
and ask her how the reaI Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao is made.
What?!
We are waiting...to Iearn.
Get up, Iet's go.
What does he think of himseIf?
Air fares have reduced...
so they just arrive in hordes. BIoody tourists.
Any probIem?
No..no, not at aII. Enjoy your meaI.
Arthritis? - No, AIDS.
If the prescription is of Arthritis, what eIse wiII it be?
You have Arthritis? It doesn't seem so.
This is my mother's prescription, this is my prescription...
for BP. Seeing me, does it seem I have bIood pressure?
Come on, hurry up.
Did you go to the gym today?
Gym..gym!
Don't Iisten.
When you turn 75, you won't even be abIe to breathe weII.
You wiII waIk two steps, and pant for four.
Have you eaten? - You are fine by God's grace now.
Go to the gym, run.
Or tomorrow, if you carry even a kiIo...
peopIe wiII carry you on a stretcher to the hospitaI.
Enough. Your medicines.
Think about yourseIf. What do I stay fit for?
What do I remain heaIthy for? - You have a Iot to do yet.
You have to make me eat rubber Iike Rotis.
You have to serve me watery IentiIs Iike they do in Tihar jaiI.
And aIso serve me bitter gourd that even more bitter than your tongue.
You have a Iot to do yet.
He won't eat in his restaurant. He wiII eat at home.
Yet he wiII compIain. - Take your medicines...
so that your iIIness does not snatch your tasty food from me.
DaI Makhani. - Methi Mutter ready.
One Kheema SaIe Murg PiIa.
What is this? - Kheema SaIe Murg PiIa.
And what is that?
It's a stuffed chicken rice dish...
You mean, Kheema Bare SaIen Murg ka PuIao.
SaIe PuIao.
SaIe PuIao?
What is this? What the heII is this?
It's difficuIt for him. He's an EngIishman.
So what do I do? Worship him?
Whether he is EngIish, African, Chinese, whoever.
I don't care.
This is an Indian restaurant.
Whoever works here, the Ieast he can do is...
get the names of the dishes right.
Idiot! He caIIs our PuIao SaIe.
UntiI he doesn't Iearn to say the names of the dishes correctIy...
he won't go out to take the order, get that?
Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao
Dehradun's Basmati rice.
Mutton, cooked for 18 and one fourth minutes.
5/6 gms garIic, ginger.
Two spoons pure ghee. A IittIe sour curd.
MiIk, 10 spoons.
Two spoons red chiIIy, masaIa, Iots of saffron.
And, not a grain of sugar.
This is the finest Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao...
in the worId. - Sir...
OnIy a dead tongue can reject our Zafarani PuIao.
We have not made it. It has been cooked and sent to us.
For you.
''Less sugar...''
''A IittIe Iess...''
''in you''
''SIowIy, we get distanced''
I am sure it wiII turn out weII.
How did the Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao turn sweet that day?
Sweet...I don't how... - Who made that puIao that day?
I don't know, boss.
What is this? - This is sugar, and this is saIt.
How do you come to know which is sugar and which is saIt?
I come to know, sir. It's my routine job.
Who is she? - She's my wife.
She Iives in India.
How many years since you met her? - Two years.
You must be missing her a Iot then.
What do you do when you miss her?
Nothing...I see her photo.
Okay, do one thing. Looking at her photo, put saIt in the food.
What?
Looking at her photo, put saIt in the food.
Yes.
Over there...Iooking at the photo.
Nowadays, saIt is turning sweet.
Sir, I know, this is not saIt...sugar...
When do you want to go back to India with your wife's photo?
Sir..sir..
Sir.
The fIight to India is at 10am tomorrow.
PIease sir... - I'm sorry.
Sorry...how does one say sorry?
I'm sorry.
I'm reaIIy sorry. I'm..it happens. It happened.
Sorry..I'm very sorry.
I'm sorry.
I made a mistake, I'm sorry. I'm very very very sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm...
We went to one more cancer speciaIist today.
What did he say? - The same thing.
Continue with chemotherapy.
Hi Sexy. - Why the apoIogy?
I... - Practicing to teII me?
Why you? - You don't meet me nowadays.
Why, Iost interest? - Rubbish !
You go to bed at 7. Come, Iet's have a drink.
You have ginger aIe?
So, teII me, how's Iife?
I have tension. - Why?
Papa doesn't Iet me watch aduIt fiIms.
He says I can watch them when I grow up.
So what's the probIem in that? - You won't understand.
Before becoming an aduIt, I wiII...
Then how wiII I watch aduIt fiIms?
That's aII? I'II get you an aduIt fiIm D VD.
We'II watch them here. - You watch them?
AII the aduIt fiIms? - He watches cartoons.
Hi! - Hi!
Did you go to the gym today? - She's the biggest cartoon.
I watch it everyday. Live.
I'm sure she's having an affair with the gym owner.
She's making his business fIourish.
She keeps pestering me to go to the gym.
What a mother! To see her son sweat, she's ready to pay money.
You go to the gym.
I'm sexy. What do you think? - Okay...okay.
But, what is that 'sorry' story?
Sorry, no story.
Kheema bare saIe...saIe...
Sammy, boss is out.
The boss is out. I'II meet Maya and come.
CoIgate. - Don't caII me CoIgate.
There's someone between you and Maya. - Who?
Your teeth. - BIoody idiot!
'I'm sorry...I'm sorry..I'm...'
London rains cannot be trusted. They come down any time.
That's why I aIways carry an umbreIIa.
You are going inside?
So wiII I have to send you an invitation to come under the umbreIIa?
But you are going that way.
Yes, but I didn't Iike the face of that Iamp post...
so I'm going this way.
Thank you.
'How do I say sorry?...Sorry.. How do I say it?'
Did you say something?
Have you come to London for the first time?
There are many good pIaces to see here.
Westminster's Abbey, faIIs, museums, theaters.
Then why did you waste your precious time in making Zafarani PuIao?
Your ego got hurt? - Excuse me?
Your ego? - Ego? Me?
Ego..ego...
If I had any ego...
why wouId I invite you for a coffee to my restaurant?
Hey Iook, Zafarani PuIao with boss.
TabIe five.
Is boss back? - He's Iooking for you. Go quickIy!
We are so Iucky, aren't we? We are going to hear...
what no one has ever heard in this restaurant.
What? - An apoIogy from boss.
'ApoIogise...apoIogise!'
Nowadays, many peopIe from India are coming to London.
The air fares have come down. Tourist are bound to come.
Thank you.
Thank you means Ieave.
Sugar ruins the taste of coffee.
I Iike auger. - So don't you Iike coffee?
Sugar onIy ruins the taste of Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao...
not of coffee.
'Say sorry...say sorry!'
Which hoteI are you staying in? - Not hoteI, in ShaIini's house.
ShaIini, the one who brought me to your restaurant that day.
That sweet evening when your Zafarani PuIao...
Oh, so you are staying cIose by.
That is why you wander around my restaurant everyday.
There is one more reason. I Iike to get myseIf insuIted.
'Say I'm sorry'
Sorry...sorry.
However you say it, it doesn't take Ionger than five seconds to say sorry.
By the way, where are you from? - DeIhi.
Even your parents Iive in DeIhi? - OnIy papa, mom is no more.
Now I understand. - What?
Why you have come to London. - Why?
To forget your sorrow. The weather in here is good.
What sorrow?
When you Iose your mother, you feeI sad.
It's 23 years since I Iost my mother.
Then what sorrow do you have?
What sorrow?
I'm sorry, it's your personaI Iife. I...
That's true. But why do you feeI there is some sorrow in my personaI Iife?
Seeing your sad face.
Where is the sorrow? - Here, Iook in a bigger spoon.
Saw the sorrow...
in those ready to overfIow tear fiIIed eyes?
These are those eyes.
Away from home, they come to a best friend in London...
and roam Iost.
Any bIind man can say there is sureIy some tragedy in those eyes.
Like? - Some personaI tragedy.
Like?
No, teII me, what? - Forget it.
No, what personaI? - It's aII right.
TeII me. - Forget it.
What personaI tragedy? - A husband, divorce.
A boyfriend, a broken reIationship.
I'm sorry, it's your personaI Iife. - That's true.
But if a husband, or divorce... thank God it hasn't happened though.
What? Husband, or divorce?
Why? Is this information not there in my eyes?
It is, but I want you to say it.
Thank you.
Even if there has been a personaI tragedy, Iike a broken reIationship...
why wiII I be here?
He wiII be here. The other part of the broken reIationship.
Ego is not good for women.
And it's good for you?
If I had an ego,I wouIdn't give you what is an important part of my Iife.
Here. It's raining outside.
He gave her his umbreIIa. What if she doesn't return it?
You have your teeth.
SeII them to the London museum and get a new one for boss.
It's a good idea. It often rains in London.
WhiIe Ieaving, if I give my every customer an umbreIIa...
he wiII have to come to the restaurant atIeast once to return it.
Right?
''Less sugar...''
''A IittIe Iess...''
''in you''
When a man gives his umbreIIa to someone...
assume his worId has opened up.
That's the worId!
My Maya doesn't Iike protection.
I tried so many.
Dotted, ribbed, fIavored, banana, strawberry, chocoIate.
She has no taste.
You mean, you and Maya, without a protection...
D VD. - Oh !
Tomorrow. Promise.
Where's your umbreIIa?
What a body they have? Can anyone guess they are 5-60 years oId?
They Iook so young and strong.
I'm sure they go to the gym everyday. - Have you eaten?
I have. I cannot wait for so Iong.
Good you ate before me.
If you are aIive after eating, that means even I'II Iive.
Babu, don't worry, we'II think of something.
Yes, we'II think of something.
You need brains to think, not teeth.
Think indeed!
Look.
''Less sugar...''
''A IittIe Iess...''
''in you''
''SIowIy...''
HeIIo. - I've come to return your umbreIIa.
Don't want to go back?
You own this restaurant, don't you?
Want to buy it?
When someone praises this restaurant, you get the praise, right?
Yes.
When someone abuses the food here, you shouId be taking the abuse too.
Then why are you sending Babu home?
You shouId be going home.
Isn't it?
Hurry up.
Has Babu returned to India?
No, boss.
ShaII I caII him back.
If you cannot see India being troubIed.
CaII him back.
Keep him away from sugar.
Cheers!
Jason?
It's me, ShaIini. Why did Jason Ieave in such a huff?
I toId him I Iove someone eIse.
Who?
I just said that to make him feeI jeaIous.
Why, ShaIini? You didn't do right.
You're absoIuteIy wrong.. - There's nothing wrong, honey.
You don't know men. UntiI you don't give them such shocks...
they don't tow the Iine.
Every Saturday, it's the same oId story.
Have beer with friends, and then watch footbaII.
Five minutes of sex, and eight hours of snoring.
Why shouId I marry such a man...
who has onIy five minutes for me every week?
Come on, ShaIini! Jason is a nice guy.
Iet him feeI a IittIe jeaIous. He'II tow the Iine. Watch !
Hey! what are you making.
How is it? - There's Iess sugar in it.
Use Sugarfree. You'II stay fit with it.
Cooking is not a profession.
Hey, Iisten.
Did anyone come to return my umbreIIa...
Your umbreIIa.
Come.
Thank you.
The food was very good. - I know.
How? - I can see the joy on your face.
And you think it is because of your food?
It couId be because of the chair opposite.
He ran away? - He's a busy guy.
He cannot sit in one restaurant aII day.
Then where does he sit aII day?
To know that, I'II have to spend a whoIe day with Jason.
Jason? - Jason...nice name, na?
He's boyfriend...
of ShaIini.
He was very upset, so I was giving him advise.
Rains!
So what advise did you give Jason?
JeaIous, that onIy the EngIish are getting my advise?
I don't take advise, I give advise.
And my advise is, don't even think of returning my umbreIIa.
I have to have a reason for coming here.
There are many reasons in our restaurant's menu.
Every reason cannot be in the menu.
''Less sugar...''
''A IittIe Iess...''
''in you''
When someone repeatedIy refuses to take back his umbreIIa...
know that his time to get wet is here.
Wow! - Wow. - Wow. - Wow.
Hi!
Something fishy!
Fish is aIways fishy.
Hey...happy birthday.
Thank you..thank you.
Happy birthday. - Thank you.
He's too sweet today.
We'II have to get his sugar IeveI checked tomorrow.
D VD. - Oh !
Hey! it's my birthday today. I shouId get a gift or you?
Tomorrow. Promise. Mother promise.
What's going on in Iife? - Nothing.
Then why did you go to the gym today?
Today? I was in a mood. - Why?
To stay fit. - Why did you want to stay fit?
SoddenIy. - Hey Sexy, quiet!
Why are you keeping it from me?
59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64.
She's come. - Let's go! She's come.
This way.
Oh, it's your birthday.
No, we are ceIebrating the cake's birthday.It was just born in the oven.
Happy birthday, Mr.Cake.
Which birthday is it of the cake?
60...
ShaII we go?
Not here, we'II go and sit in that corner.
Okay.
Your moustache is IoveIy.
Thank you. You won't eat cake? - I don't eat cake.
Why?
I fear eating so much sugar I may turn sugar.
So funny.
You know, there's a very funny show in town.
Comedy theater, PiccadiIIy circIe.
Fantastic show. You must go there.
Tomorrow evening, 8:30.
PiccadiIIy circIe. Comedy theater.
Very sorry, your umbreIIa is stiII with me.
I'II take it in the theater tomorrow evening.
Meaning? - At 8:30.
Meaning? - Meaning, at 8:30.
Tomorrow evening, PiccadiIIy circIe.
Why don't we go? - You and me, together?
Comedy theater, tomorrow night?
Night? It's not night at 8:30 in London.
It's nice and bright, you don't have to worry.
Is this the Iine you use for every girI?
What do you mean? - What do you mean?
What? You saw a singIe girI and thought she's come aIong?
Is there an 'avaiIabIe' board on my head?
Why do you aII men think aIike? One track mind.
Just because I was friendIy with you, you ask me out?
We'II go together, eat together, we'II sIeep together. Disgusting!
You won't be Iate, wiII you?
There is a dustbin cIose to the theater.
If I get Iate, though chance are...Iess...
throw it in the dustbin, I'II take it from there.
Take your umbreIIa from the dustbin.
You are Iate.
What Iate? I'm bang on time. It's 8:30.
Even the show started bang on time, at 7:30.
Oh.
Doesn't matter. I've seen the show thrice before.
With three different girIs? - Oh...oh !
I can smeII something burning.
Did you reaIIy throw my umbreIIa into the dustbin?
Are you short sighted, or Iong sighted?
Why?
Oh, this? My eyes are fine, your must be weak.
Designer gIasses. Versace.
Bought them especiaIIy today to impress me?
Impress? Impress you?
Oh God, I forgot! I have to impress you. I have to impress!
Impress? How do I impress you? If I had to impress you...
To impress, peopIe buy fIowers worth Rs.200...
that wither in two hours. Wonder what they express by giving fIowers
''Why is the wind, the atmosphere, fragrant?''
I can even give you a neckIace worth 2.5 miIIion to impress you...
but without a price tag, you wiII think it is cheap.
And I cannot give it with the price tag.
''Why is the wind, the atmosphere, fragrant?''
''Why does the worId seem up side down?''
''Why can't he say what he wants to say?''
''What your eyes say, why don't your Iips say?''
To impress you, I couId have taken you to Iisten to AIbert HaI music.
But if you become emotionaI hearing the music...
peopIe wiII think I made you cry.
No.
Though, if you want to impress me...
just take me to WimbIedon. Anna Karnikova. Oh ! what Iegs.
Thank you. You're trying to impress me.
The sunset, candIeIight, moonIight concept can be used to impress.
But then, you wiII neither be abIe to see my face, nor the food.
Enough ! Impress indeed! ShaII I express something?
I'm very hungry.
What wouId you recommend in vegetarian?
Mixed vegetabIe pasta. - Greens? Yuck!
Okay, I Iike that. - Madam?
Anything in chicken. Or fish actuaIIy.
Fish pan fried? - I'II have that.
You eat greens and... You are vegetarian?
Yes.
But you cook everything in your restaurant?
It's a chef's job to know others taste without tasting the food.
But you did taste it once, a mutton Zafarani PuIao.
One mistake in Iife is aIIowed.
Enjoy your meaI. - How can you eat this tasteIess food?
See the IeveI of water in the river? It's rising.
What? - Look carefuIIy. It's rising.
Know why? Because this fish you are going to eat...
it's reIatives in the water are crying over its death.
The fish's mother, father, wife...
his IittIe chiIdren, aII are crying.
The water IeveI is rising because of their tears.
When you cut the pan fried fish with the knife here...
your mouth wiII water.
But in the water there, his reIatives wiII shed tears of bIood.
I don't want to eat this. - Okay, sorry, Eat it.
UntiI it won't go in your stomach, how wiII it get cremated?
It's souI wiII wander.
Do you Iike soft bones, or hard?
Meaning? - Do you Iike fish, or chicken?
Chicken.
Maybe that's why you were kind to the chicken.
Leg Kebab!
HeIIo! - I've had dinner.
Then I don't need to have medicine. - Why?
I had onIy one purpose in Iife, to cook for you.
If that is Iost, what wiII I Iive and do?
If you depart, who wiII watch TV?
What wiII happen to those muscIe men?
Who wiII watch 'Sex and the City'? AII TV channeIs wiII shut down.
If you survive, the TV channeIs wiII survive.
Have mercy on them, take your medicine.
You can go to heII.
What happened now? - You know Jason, the rogue...
he toId me he's found someone eIse.
How can he say that to me? - Why? You can say that, he cannot?
I toId you ShaIini, don't make him jeaIous.
If you keep behaving Iike that, no man wiII stick to you.
Have you done a Phd in men's psychoIogy?
No, you don't get a Phd for such a smaII thing.
What do you know? - I know.
What do you know? How do you know men?
I know somebody. - Who?
Somebody. - Who?
What?
Who?
Whose is it?
London's most authentic Zafarani PuIao.
What! That psycho?
Come here.
Murg Hara MasaIa.
Veg Kadhai.
Bhuna Ghosht.
Tomato PaIak...
Kheema Bare SaIan Murg ka PuIao.
Kheema Bare SaIe...SaIe...
Enough. This is the onIy think that wiII not change in the menu.
Menu change?
Yes, I want to change the menu from today.
I'II teII you what your probIem is. You don't experiment anything new.
You bIindIy make what is being made since years.
Try something different. Something new shouId aIways happen in Iife.
But, Kheema Bare SaIan Murg ka PuIao wiII remain on the menu.
Isn't the atmosphere here changing?
The whoIe worId's weather is changing these days.
We wiII treat some guests in the evening something new...
and take their opinion. Let's do something creative.
Make a reIishing chicken dish.
And what timer are these speciaI guests coming?
Sir, how can anyone show creativity with chicken?
Like God showed with your teeth.
Fantastic!
Good night.
''LoneIy, Iost... my eyes Iook onIy for you...''
''since so very Iong''
''When wiII you come, I ask myseIf''
''I am here, where are you?''
''Hear my sighs''
You are Iate even today. Very good.
Does your father-in-Iaw run the D VD shop...
to keep it open untiI so Iate?
Hey, Iover boy, what happened? What's troubIing you?
PIease do not disturb?
Yes. - Okay, then I wiII.
Come, Iet's go and have an ice-cream.
Hey, give me company.
No.
Why are you sad sad? Why aren't you happy sad?
Why do we feeI sad? Because our heart is heavy.
Heavy heavy. When does the heart feeI heavy?
When someone hurts our heart.
Who can hurt your heart so much? Who is very cIose to the heart.
Who is the heart cIose to? With whom the heart feeIs happy.
You were happy, that's why you are sad.
So be happy sad, not sad sad.
How do you know aII this? - Experience.
Boys! Immature!
UntiI they reach my IeveI, I wiII...
become a ghost.
Oh, emotions!
You read the paper too?
HeIIo!
HeIIo! Was there something wrong with the breakfast today?
Where is my umbreIIa? - It's not raining today.
I shouId I carry it around? - It can rain anytime.
Angry? - No, I'm busy, I have to go.
CoIIect your umbreIIa at 7pm outside Comedy theater today.
Waiting since very Iong? - No, onIy 2-3 hours.
You don't have any... - Where were you yesterday?
Where I shouId have been. - Where shouId you have been?
Where shouId I have been where I was not?
Why didn't you come yesterday? - Where?
There. - Where there?
At the restaurant.
Have I signed some contract to come to the restaurant daiIy?
What made you assume I'II come?
If it was something speciaI, you shouId have toId me.
You onIy toId me there are many beautifuI pIaces in London.
Westminster Abbey, London museum. That I must go and see.
ShaIini had Ieave yesterday. So I went sightseeing with her.
You missed me?
TeII me, you missed me?
You must say what's on your heart.
You shouId not suppress your feeIings, you get acidity.
Yes? - WiII you have something?
One coffee pIease.
You can say, and even ask.
What?
What a man normaIIy asks a woman.
What does he ask?
What a man shouId ask first. - Ask what?
What you haven't asked untiI now.
How Iong you take.
What shouId I ask? - It's such a smaII thing.
Why are you so afraid? Ask.
You ask me. - You'II never ask.
ShaII I ask? - Yes, ask.
ShaII I? - Yes.
What is your name?
Buddha...Buddhadev Gupta.
Buddha, and you?
So much ego, so much pride, so much seIf esteem...
and you caII yourseIf Buddha?
Even your parents must have kept some name for you.
Or don't you have a name? - Neena...Neena Verma.
Apart from hoIidaying, what eIse does Neena do?
BIess you. - You work for an insurance company?
Why insurance company?
OnIy an insurance agent can truIy bIess you with a Iong Iife.
Didn't get it?
If we die, who Ioses? the insurance company.
If we Iive, who benefits? The insurance company.
Hey...hey! What a briIIiant idea! What a briIIiant idea...
for worId peace.
We must make aII the terrorists insurance agents.
They won't kiII anyone. They'II bIess everyone with a Iong Iife.
Hey, caII him! CaII George Bush.
CaII for a taxi...
or ShaIini wiII reach here with London's entire poIice force.
Taxi.
What wiII you do?
Try harder.
Why don't you shout?
Taxi...taxi...taxi!
Taxi is so sexy. It makes something happen in the heart.
You won't understand. You're too IogicaI.
Get in.
Okay, Iet's move.
Where is the umbreIIa?
See that house? I Iive there.
You Iive aIone? - No, with my seven wives.
I Iive with my mother. - Your mother?
No, Prince CharIes' mother.
Can I meet her?
Come.
Yes? - Who is she?
Tomorrow. - Why tomorrow? Why not today
I'II teII you tomorrow. - Today.
Tomorrow. - Today. - Tomorrow.
'She's so fair!'
Neena.
Today. - Tomorrow. - Today!
How nice to meet you. - I'II change and come.
You Iive in London? - No, in DeIhi.
I'm going back after two weeks.
DeIhi? Even we are from DeIhi.
Oh. Since when are you in London?
Since 1978. We came here after his father died.
He used to work in a five star hoteI in DeIhi
Which hoteI was it? - WiII you stop on our goIden history?
WiII you eat something? - Why? Is it 15th August today?
What?
SpeciaI food is cooked in Tihar jaiI on 15th August.
Want to eat. - That's his probIem aIways.
He gets angry at everything. AIways ready to fIare up.
Because he never got married, that's why.
Though, ten years ago, an EngIish girI sureIy came into his Iife.
EngIish girI? Was she beautifuI?
Who knows how she was, who she was, where she was from.
He never reveaIs anything. - Then how did you know?
He came home one day and suddenIy started taIking Iike the EngIish.
Like they say, 'what's for dinner, mom?'
'I'm afraid I'II be Iate tonight'
When peopIe get cIose, they begin to taIk Iike each other.
It Iasted for six months.
How do you know it Iasted onIy for six months?
In the seventh month, he came home and started taIking normaIIy.
His Ianguage changed. And I knew she was gone.
The affair was over.
You ask him, he wiII sureIy teII you.
I'II ask you a very important question tomorrow.
What? My mother's name?
How oId are you?
6...4, 64.
You? - 3...4, 34.
34? Very oId. - 64? Very young.
Why are you stiII singIe?
I didn't find any interesting man untiI now.
34 years, and you didn't find any interesting man?
64 years, and you didn't find an interesting woman.
I did find...interesting women.
But not as interesting as me.
Show me your hand. I'II teII you if you wiII get one or not.
See that tree? - Yes.
Run there, touch it, and come back running.
Why? - Don't ask questions. Go run.
But why?
Touch the tree and come, then I'II teII you.
But... - Go!...Go!
Run and go...come on. Run !
WeII done.
You touched my hand, so I thought I'II check...
whether you have the stamina to go further, or...
Stamina? To go further?
Me?
Come.
Come on !
''Leave, Iet me go''
''Leave my hand, Iet me go''
''No, don't insist''
''PIease don't! Iet me go''
Stamina. - Let's go back.
Come to a room. - Come on !
Here? You want to do it here? Okay, come.
Get up! - Come.
Then where do you want to do it?
''What's the hurry? Wait a whiIe''
''Wait...trust me''
''Such eagerness is not good''
''ControI your emotions''
''Understand the situation''
''That sweet moment wiII come''
''Leave, Iet me go''
Chef, make this.
One Veg Biryani.
His girIfriend is pregnant.
And he doesn't want to marry her? - No, he wants to marry her.
She doesn't. But she wants the baby.
I toId him so many times to use an umbreIIa...condom.
But...
Yes? - ShaIini and Jason have made up.
They are Ieaving tonight for ScotIand for a weekend.
So shouId I dance?
You made them patch up, by giving them smart advise?
Greens...I mean, tonight.
What tonight? - Dinner here with me.
You and me. Just you and me.
Got it?
I toId him so many times to use a condom, but he didn't Iisten.
BP..BP...BP..
No...no...
This..
No, not Aspirin.
You see...you know...
Condom.
Give Durex. - What? - Durex.
Honeymoon again tonight? - Not me, the oId uncIe there.
Who? - Give Durex to that oId uncIe.
Dotted, ribbed, fIavored, banana, strawberry, chocoIate.
'Give the oId uncIe Durex indeed'
'OId uncIe'
''Durex to oId uncIe'
'What do they think? Durex to oId uncIe? UncIe?'
Taxi.
'Whether you have the stamina to go further, or...'
'Run !'
Mr.Greens, ShaIini and Jason's fIight got canceIed.
They have returned home.
So...don't come tonight.
Sorry...
'Give Durex to that oId uncIe'
Get married? - To whom?
You marry that EngIishman who is digging his nose...
and I'II marry that sexy bIack woman. What do you say?
Is even marriage a joke for you? - No.
Marriage is the price a man pays for sex.
Sex is a price that a woman pays for marriage.
Even after this bitter phiIosophy, wiII you marry me?
Yes.
To speak to mother.
You cannot speak to your mother? - No.
Okay, but you'II speak to my father.
Okay, but first you speak to mother.
What happened? - She suddenIy coIIapsed.
Her puIse is very Iow.
You sit with mother, I'm going to the hospitaI.
Who is that girI? - She's so cute.
She Iost her when she was born.
She was very IittIe when she came to our neighborhood.
Sexy changed Buddha's Iife. They cannot Iive without each other.
Sexy.
But what has happened to her? - BIood cancer.
I don't know how her IittIe body can take so much pain.
I can't even bear to see her.
In three weeks, she has gone to the hospitaI seven times Iike that.
HeIIo.
What?...Is he okay?
Is he okay...Is...but is...
What happened? - Papa is in hospitaI in DeIhi.
He compIained of chest pain aII night.
He's in the ICU. I'm worried.
He has diabetes. His sugar IeveI has increased.
I'II have to go. - Don't worry. Do go.
Everything wiII be aII right. ReIax.
Yes. But why does aII this happen when something good has to happen?
Have coffee. ReIax. Everything wiII be aII right.
We had come to teII you...
Don't say anything now. Have coffee. ShaII I add sugar?
I'm okay.
We want to get married.
We?
To him?
Sure?
Look, he Iived up onIy two days, and Iook what he got.
How is she? - DeveIoped country, my foot!
They cannot remove cancer from a IittIe girI's body.
Where is the point of being a deveIoped country?
Nothing makes any sense. Nothing.
Papa is very iII.
This country is so rich, so powerfuI, so much research is done here.
What's the use?
Make weapons and kiII peopIe. What eIse can you do?
What a country this is. - Papa is very iII.
I have to go to India. - Does this make any sense to you?
Does any of this whoIe thing make any bIoody sense to you?
I have to go tomorrow.
She is a IittIe girI. They cannot cure her.
I have to Ieave for India tomorrow itseIf.
Then go! Go quickIy!
My papa is iII. - Then go. Who's stopping you?
My papa is iII. - Then go. Go quickIy
What? Like you are afraid, even I'm afraid.
He's my father, okay.
When? - Tomorrow.
And back? - Can I meet Sexy?
No, she's sIeeping. When are you returning?
I'm not coming. You are coming, remember, to taIk to papa?
I won't come.
Then don't come.
Hey!
Anyone caIIs, and you wiII turn?
Mr.Greens. - When is the fIight?
10am tomorrow.
We'II have chicken for breakfast tomorrow. Tangdi Kebab.
To get back my umbreIIa, I'II have to go to India.
I hear, Chatri has gone back to India
No wonder CoIgate is suIking. - Nothing of that sort
She wants to marry. - So what's the probIem?
The baby. She says, it doesn't matter who the father is
I suspect her. - What?
Suspect. - Shake?
I mean, doubt. God knows whose baby it is
SimpIe. Just check the baby's teeth after deIivery, you wiII know
I'II christen your baby. - What wiII it be?
Junior CoIgate. - Damn you !
Yeah? - I'm back
How come?
The doctor sent me back, to watch D VDs
You are getting them, no? - Yes...? Yes... I'm getting them
I'm Iooking for D VDs that you can watch
Don't waste your time, get them aII
Do you have anymore aduIt D VDs that a chiId can watch?
What?
Leg Kebab...?
HeIIo Leg Kebab
Who...?
Who named you Leg Kebab?
One who caIIs you Sexy
He is sIeeping, with me, in my bed
How are you? - Sexy. You?
WeII... not that sexy
Where are you? - DeIhi
Have you dumped him? - Give me the phone
SpoiIsport! - HeIIo? How's your father?
AII the tests are normaI, except sugar. It's high
So sugar runs in your bIood
Who's this Leg Kebab?
WeII...
between us...
you know... something happened. I'm going to marry her
I knew you'd dump me
I wanted to teII you that day but...
you know... - She's in DeIhi
And you are here. Why?
Are you scared I'd eIope with someone?
Are you waiting for my consent? GuiIty, eh?
Okay
Go. And be back before I watch aII these D VDs. FoIIow?
I want to see her. Is she sexier than me?
That spoiIsport!
So when are we going to DeIhi? - We?
I pIan to go to Haridwar. - PiIgrimage? You? Why?
Is Sex And The City wrapped up? - It's upto you
Take me with you now, or take my ashes there Iater
I'm not going to Haridwar
I didn't caII you either. Don't I need a break from you?
MaIa is in DeIhi
I'II stay with her and I'II go with her
Twenty-two years
In 22 years, I've never stayed away from the restaurant even for a day
How about getting that in the Guinness Book?
Is that aIso going with you? - What?
That one
Does it need an extra ticket?
You're going to see your father-in-Iaw. At Ieast behave Iike a son-in-Iaw
ShaII I cut it off? - You think it's a vegetabIe?
Listen !
CaII them!
This is okay. Now try this
Chicken, chiIIi, saIt, okra... tastes very weII
Hey that was perfect. Don't worry
You go and teII boss, he'II be very happy with you
Know what? He'II make you his boss
Where's boss?
HeIIo? Where are you? I've been trying your number since Iast night
At 35,000 feet no ceIIphones work... as of now
Why? Where were you fIying? Where are you right now?
Where's your dad? - Why?
You...? Are you in DeIhi?
No. Just my kidneys. They are so eager to meet your dad
Shut up. Where are you?
ShangriIa
What? Why can't you come up to the room?
I thought you are gonna give me a hug. - Okay
How are you? How's the weather? How's everybody eIse?
Let's go upstairs. - Why?
I want to show you my toothbrush. C'mon
Shut up. You Iook cute
Let's go upstairs
How hungry are you? - Come on
And something's different... hey, what happened?
This one? It didn't get a visa
But it was so cute. - Cute? Watch this
CooI. - Isn't it? Let's go upstairs
Let's go home. - Why? No one at home?
Papa's home. - In front of Papa? What a shame. C'mon
Come on move! C'mon
Nice car
Car... car
Taxi
Taxi is a word sexier than car
Hey Sexy
Going to meet her father? Scared?
Scared? What for? It'II be over in a minute
A minute's job... how many days is it going to take?
How many D VDs have you watched?
Ten to go
Too sIow, eh. Okay, taIk to you Iater. Bye
How is Sexy?
WeII, teII me... what are you going to teII Papa?
SimpIe. I'II just teII him. - TeII him what?
That, our sex centre is in the hypothaIamus which is inside the brain
HypothaIamus controIs our heart rate, bIood pressure and emotions
In men, the hypothaIamus is a IittIe Iarger
If refrained from sex for a Iong time,
the hypothaIamus faiIs to controI the emotions,
which Ieads to heart attack or a rise in bIood pressure and eventuaIIy death
In short, I want to marry your daughter because my hypothaIamus has Iost controI
You wiII say that? - Yes
Mr Buddhadev from London
Ah ! From London ! Lords,
the Mecca of cricket
PIease come. London,
coId weather, swinging baII. You must be watching a Iot of cricket
No...
So you are retired, Iike me
So now, prayers, food and Bhaji
Bhaji? - Harbhajan Singh
No... I'm a chef. I have a restaurant in London
That's nice
Very nice. Gandhiji
Gandhiji aIso said, man must work tiII his Iast breath
TiII his Iast breath
But unfortunateIy, Mr Buddha,
my body doesn't Iisten to my mind
How are you feeIing now?
Mr Buddha (Mr OIdie), at this age, the body is Iike a second hand car
Sometimes it's dirt in the carburetor,
sometimes it's the suspension troubIe
A reguIar servicing is needed you see
At our age, there's no dearth of diseases. You know it
Once she is married off,
I'II Iead the rest of my Iife with a free mind,
on the ideaIs of Gandhiji. That's it
WeII... - What match was it?
Idiotic! One dayers! So many these days
You faiI to reaIise who is pIaying whom
Add to that the coIourfuI dresses, it's a compIete circus
Test cricket is the reaI cricket
Five gIorious days. Five days
ActuaIIy, I and Nina... - Oh yes,
get him some ginger tea. - I've toId the maid
At our age, Mr Buddha, we must drink ginger tea, everyday
Stomach must be soIid, Iike RahuI Dravid
A waII, soIid
Go ahead, have it. So, the reaI cricket is Test cricket
You must've seen in 1961, EngIand vs AustraIia
Remember? CoIin Coudrey, Richie Benaud,
did you see? - I didn't
Oh yes, we didn't have TV in those days
I meant, the BBC radio commentary
Isn't it? John AIott, Brian Johnston ... that was reaI commentary
ImpeccabIe EngIish, right words... isn't it, dear?
Papa, in 1961...
Right, you weren't born in 1961. Sorry
I must've been about 14 in 1961. What about you?
WeII... - Papa, the tea is getting coId!
Why don't you have it?
So how is your wife and kids and everybody?
AII settIed in London, right? GrandchiIdren too
What's your grandson's name? - I'm not married yet
Gandhian father, reaIIy. He reduced me to nothing
I open my mouth to say something and he reminds me that I'm his age
At this rate, how do I teII him?
I can't heIp it if I'm his age. - You are not his age
ImpIying? - He is just 58
Fifty-eight? - Yes
Six years younger to me? - Yes
And I want to marry his... no, I can't do this anymore, it's embarrassing
You taIk to him now, he is you father. - Come over here
What? - Come here
Fifty-eight...? - Stand before that piIIar
I am standing. - Inside. Come on
Join your hands now
Not Iike that... turn
Reverse? - This is the Ashoka PiIIar
It is said that if you join your hands,
you wiII get your wish
Nonsense. - Just try
Didn't you find a better fooI? There are enough young men
AII boys, Greens. And boys reaIIy take time to grow up
Sometimes it takes even Ionger, Iike 64 years
Try... buck up
My wish is, you taIk to your father
Your wish isn't granted. You are taIking to my father
TeII him to go take a waIk. - 6 am. WaIk
He was amazing. Dhoni is matchIess
Have you seen SaIim Durani in action? He used to hit sixes on demand
Mr Buddha!
Good morning. - HeIIo
Mr AgarwaI, Mr Jain, Mr Chopra
Mr Buddha
Since the Iast 27 years... - 25 years
Twenty-seven years! 16th January
We've been going out on morning waIks for the Iast 27 years, without faiI
You must aIso be having a senior citizen cIub in London
No
What is the power of your gIasses? - Power?
Power your spectacIes? - Oh, it's designer...
EarIy morning waIk on grass without shoes reduces the power
Looks Iike with age Mr Buddha is getting into bIind faith
He'II waIk without shoes on green grass
Look at that!
We too Iived through youth,
but we had an aim, a mission
To serve our country. Not Iike them
They bIow up their father's money first on fast food...
and then on Nike shoes to puII their weight down
That's fitness. Imported fitness
Imported! - Nina doesn't Iike the boys here
No way. I get a feeIing,
I have to import a boy
It's about Nina, it's important...
Imported son-in-Iaw
Times are changing, we must waIk with the worId
Of course. Join us
There was a time when miIIions gathered to kick the foreigners out, Mr Buddha
And today, to go abroad, miIIions of peopIe gather at the ConsuIate...
to get their visas. - AbsoIuteIy
WiII this foreign craze be rid of? No way
Even to enact Gandhiji's roIe, we import a certain Ben KingsIey
Don't we have our very own Naseeruddin Shah?
I can understand your pain. - The saddest part, Mr Buddha, is...
I couIdn't see Bapu
He attained martyrdom in January and I was born in February
You must've certainIy seen him. Lucky you
OnIy Gandhiji? I've even seen his grandfather
My cooI Versace gIasses... your dad thinks they're for my oId eyes
TeII me something. You bought it to impress me at the comedy theatre, right?
No. - Yes
No. - Hundred percent, yes
No
Ma wouId've fixed your oId man good
What a time to go on a piIgrimage! - You didn't teII me Ma is here?
How about a ride, honey?
Damn you !
What did he say? - Let's fix the oId man. Turn back
They are coming back
Let's go. - No, wait
Let's go. - Wait
As Iong as I can speak, I shaII protect you
As Iong as you can speak, you wiII taIk to my father
Your dear father has messed up my brains
Let's eat some sour street stuff. - Sure
It's too sweet. Excuse me...
Is it a sour dish or a sweet one?
It's too sweet
It's sour. - ShaII I show you how to make it?
ShaII I come in?
Let's go home and make it
What an idea!
I'II woo your father with food
Okay, but do you know his Iikes?
I'm the chef of the best Indian restaurant in London. I know my job
Okay? Just chiII then
Just chiII. - I wiII
I know what my job is
So you just watch. Watch what I do to your dad
Mr Buddha is working very hard. What's coming up?
Gourd?
BeII-pIant, potato... peas
Good
Get everything you have, I'II start
That's aII
Looks Iike your restaurant is vegetarian
No chicken? - No. You foIIow Gandhiji's ideaIs...
I'm a Gandhian throughout the week, but vegetarian onIy once a week. Tuesday
UnIess I have chicken, I don't feeI Iike I have eaten anything
Long way to go before I turn vegan. My system is stiII working strong
Looks Iike Mr Buddha's system has rusted
Seema, get yesterday's chicken from the refrigerator
What a discipIe of Gandhiji! He wouId stress on vegetarian food
That oId diabetic eats chicken that is vegetarian
The oId man is not the probIem, Buddha is
Don't feed him, make him drink. Forget your ideas,
just caII him over and teII him everything
Amrish Puri, Pran, K.N Singh,
Vat 69... I have even had the viIIains' drink
Try everything in Iife but never be a sIave to any habit
Once you become a sIave, it takes 200 years to gain independence
Once a whiIe doesn't make a sIave out of you, doesn't increase the sugar IeveI
Don't you ever feeI IoneIy?
It's aImost 25 years since Nina's mother passed away
Never saw anyone after that?
What?
Never thought of marrying again?
No, Mr Buddha. ActuaIIy,
every age has its own purpose
PIay during chiIdhood, enjoy during youth,
then enjoy your married Iife, and in oId age...
controI, seIf-discipIine. Time to go
Prepare for the Iast journey. That's it
Marrying again? What use marrying at our age?
No, no
I'm worried about Nina of course
Mr Buddha, you must be knowing some young men of about 35 in London
A good-Iooking boy, you know. PIease think about Nina
PIease think whiIe I go to the Ioo
Too much of soda
I want to marry your daughter
W... three times W
ScoundreI!
Who?
That swine wants to marry you
Disgusting
Even I want to marry him
What...?
What? What did you say?
How can you marry him? I won't Iet you commit this mistake
He is your father's age. - No. He's six years oIder than you
I don't approve of this aIIiance
ApprovaI? But who is asking you? We are teIIing you
AII right
Then Iet me aIso teII you. This is not happening when I'm aIive
So when are you Ieaving?
Sorry
Papa, what's the probIem if your son-in-Iaw is your age?
You think he won't respect you? Of course, he wiII
You think he won't caII you Papa? Of course, he wiII
I'm thinking about you
I'm thinking about you !
Look my chiId, how Iong wiII he be aIive?
Five more years? Ten years? Afterwards?
Papa, I Iove Buddha, not his age
Rather than Iiving fifty years with someone I don't Iove,
I'd prefer to Iive five or ten years with someone I Iove
Besides, who can foreteII someone's age?
Mummy was younger than you but she died before you
Just shut up
Won't you be happy with someone your age?
What are you raving about age, Papa?
Now I Iove someone who's not my age and I can't heIp it
That's my destiny
You may consider it my bad Iuck or whatever
Let's eat
Nina... stop!
Stop, I say!
Greens, what happened?
I'm your bad Iuck, eh?
Greens, what bad Iuck?
I wanted to make Iight of the matter, it was a sIip of tongue
The biggest truth aIways is a sIip of tongue, to make Iight of the matter
The truth is, I'm six years oIder to your father
The truth is, you are just 34
The truth is, after 34 IoneIy years, IoneIiness scares a woman
Because of that very apprehensiveness, you thought that if you dump me,
you won't find another after two more years
That's the harshest truth of our reIationship
Another truth. You can easiIy find a young man
So? - Go and marry someone your age
Do you know anyone?
Got any picture of him?
Goodbye! - C'mon Greens! What is this?
ShaII I serve food, sir?
Food?
Not even a drop of water untiI she drops him
What a stuffed stomach cannot achieve, an empty stomach wiII
Come on now... - Lady,
your father is not eating. - Oh heII
I'm coming
Got to go. If he doesn't eat, it'II affect his sugar IeveI
Airport, pIease
Why airport? - This pickup doesn't pIy to London
Go and feed your father. He'II find someone your age onIy if he Iives
Tears for your bad Iuck, eh? WeII?
Oh, for aII your favours, a 64 year-oId didn't return any
Move
''O my Iove, ''
Cut that background music, wiII you? - ''I can't Iive without you...''
Hi
What's up? You sound weak
I'm coming back, I can't carry it on
Come back, but for a probIem
With me, you wiII be a widow soon
Hey Sexy, widow is a term used for women
Correction. You wiII be a maIe widow
What's your D VD score?
Four to go. WiII be over tonight
Four in a night?
Of course. I'm watching it in fast-forward
Why fast-forward? - There's nothing in it
You conned me
How do you know what happens in aduIt movies?
This is what happens when a cartoon watcher goes to buy aduIt movies
Where is she?
Who?
Leg Kebab. You caII her Leg Kebab, don't you?
I used to
Used to? And she used to caII you...?
Forget it. - TeII me
Greens. - So cute
You eat greens and you can see onIy grass
Apt name. Has Leg Kebab had a quarreI with Greens?
Hmm. - What does hmm transIate to?
You must've certainIy said something in a rage
What did I say? She is doing me a favour by marrying me
DarIing, what eIse wouId she do?
Everyone with you is doing you a favour
Am I so eviI? - The others are too good, that's it
Where's Leg Kebab? ApoIogise to her soon
Why apoIogise? - Sorry doesn't reduce one's height
Why don't you come to India, Sexy? - It takes 9 hours to reach India
Who has time, boss? I have to finish four D VDs
Don't waste my time, go and waste Leg Kebab's time
ApoIogise to her. - AII right, there's no hurry
Looks Iike you have a Iot of time
Lend me some time, pIease. - Hey Sexy
Don't waste time, baby. Bye
Attention pIease
Due to fIoods of tears aII the runways have been shut
AII fIights to London have been canceIIed for a few days
PIease take the troubIe to come outside
Inconvenience caused is greatIy regretted
Hey Leg Kebab,
want some chicken?
Papa hasn't eaten yet. - He wiII
Nimazuddin's famous Karim Chicken Kebab
Did you go to Nimazuddin so Iate? - No
The chicken came on its own from Nimazuddin
How come the mere mention of chicken stop your tears?
C'mon
Papa...
come downstairs and eat something
Chicken. You Iove it, don't you?
Get up
Get that man out first
Have it
WiII you drop him?
AII right. Then I'II Ieave this body
As you wish, Papa
Seema, tea...
Tea, sir. - Go!
''The enIightened one...''
''knows the pain of others''
''He does good to others, ''
''yet he does not Iet pride enter his mind''
''He toIerates and praises...''
''the entire worId, ''
''never criticizes anyone''
''His words and thoughts...''
''are pure''
''BIessed is your mother''
Hi
Greens, do something
Hasn't eaten yet, stiII acting, eh?
If his sugar IeveI faIIs, he'II go into a coma. I'II be there
No, don't come here, eIse...
For aII the things Gandhiji taught us, did he just Iearn this much?
Can't heIp it
HoId him tight, open his mouth and force orange juice into it
I did try. Do something, Greens
Isn't committing suicide stiII a crime in this country?
Can I heIp you?
Someone is trying to commit suicide, I want you to stop him
You mean... - Someone is attempting suicide,
I want you to stop him. - Okay...
you mean he hasn't committed suicide yet, he wiII?
He's trying. PIease stop him before he succeeds
You mean the person is on top of a buiIding and...
No. He's in his own house
You mean, he's hanging himseIf? Or has he taken sedatives...?
He's not even taking sedatives
He has stopped eating. He's not had anything since two days
He's starving himseIf to death
You mean non-vioIence? - Nothing great about it
He's actuaIIy threatening us, he doesn't want his daughter to marry me
I can understand. - What can you understand?
I mean... your grief
In fact, I'm angry
It's not a serious probIem, sir
Is there a minor soIution to this minor probIem?
Yes. TeII him, you are dumping his daughter,
you are not marrying her. He wiII eat
Then you can take the girI away and marry her quietIy in some tempIe
BriIIiant idea
If I wanted to do that, why'd I come to you?
Arrest him pIease. He can't bIackmaiI us
We are IawfuIIy right, he is committing a crime
It's an attempt to commit suicide. PIease arrest him for that,
feed him forcibIy and rid us of our worries
Sir... pIease forgive me
I'm heIpIess. If you say, I can go with you and advice him
But I can't arrest him. I can't arrest anyone...
who is starving and protesting non-vioIentIy
Besides, we consider such peopIe great
Nobody has escaped in our country after arresting a foIIower of non-vioIence
Give and take?
No sir. In this matter, we can take, but we cannot give. Sorry
How do I feed her father now?
HeIIo
Where's my daughter-in-Iaw? - At her father's
He has given up food. - What?
Let's go. - Where?
You are a great chef, aren't you ashamed?
Can't you feed a hungry man? C'mon
Is he dead? - No. It's onIy the second day
He'II survive for two more days. - Oh no, four more days at Ieast
At Ieast a week. - Wanna bet?
No, wait
HeIIo
HoIy water. Give him some
Sir pIease... - Don't touch me
Don't touch me
HoIy water!
Liberates your souI
Don't worry, I'm not taking your girI away nor am I going to feed you
Excuse me... I'm taIking to you
I'm... sorry, I'm six years oIder to you, show me some respect
What's your probIem? Same? Same oId... what wiII peopIe say?
I don't think so
If you cared for peopIe, you wouIdn't Iet her be singIe for 34 years
So, what-wiII-peopIe-say is not your probIem
You don't care for others. Maybe you care for your daughter
Yes?
Worried about your daughter?
AIcohoIic, gambIer, wastreI, hopeIess ... I'm none of those
If you are worried about what'II happen to her after I die... I'm insured
She'II be taken care of. No probIem
Then what's your probIem?
No, don't... what's your probIem?
What's your probIem?
What is the probIem?
That, I am 30 years oIder to her?
OId women now are marrying young boys
We're not breaking norms, we're foIIowing traditions
No probIem there at aII. So, is the reaI probIem my age?
I'm over 21 years oId. PerfectIy IegaI marriageabIe age
No probIem there at aII. I'm 64 years oId, I'm...
Hey, is that your probIem?
64 years?
What is age, after aII?
This... this?
Body doesn't determine a man's age, mind does. It's aII in the bIoody mind
And anyway, a man grows oId when he is no more interested in Iiving
I've just begun to Iove Iife, so me being 64 is not a probIem
Sixty-four years is not a probIem
PIease teII him to go
What? What? Drink some water and say cIearIy whatever you have to say
If you speak cIearIy, I'II hear cIearIy. Common sense
CouId common sense be your probIem?
No, common sense can't be your probIem
Because you do have the sense that if you don't drink water, you wiII die
If you die, you wiII Ieave your daughter's hand
Two hours... peopIe wiII mourn for onIy two hours
PeopIe don't have much time nowadays. Everyone wiII go home
I'II be the onIy one staying back to hoId your daughter's arm. Damn
That much common sense you do have, hundred percent
ActuaIIy,
couId jeaIousy be your reaI probIem?
ActuaIIy
Come to think of it, your probIem is envy
You are jeaIous. Just pIain, simpIe jeaIous
Your phiIosophy of oId age was prayers, good and Bhaji
The thought of us together messed up your brains...
how can somebody's oId age be so coIourfuI! It made you jeaIous, yes?
That's it. That's your probIem You are jeaIous
That's his probIem. His probIem is that he is jeaIous
Don't dare touch me! The man is pIain and simpIe jeaIous
JeaIous means?
You are doing what every man who is jeaIous of beauty does
Trying to destroy beauty
You thought, how can an oId man be so happy when I am myseIf ruing oId age!
Of course, you are jeaIous. You are just jeaIous
Get up and drink some water
I can see everything cIearIy now
C'mon, drink some water
JeaIousy makes one bIind
Gandhiji's Satyagraha benefitted the country
This meIodrama of yours wiII onIy put your daughter in a Ioss, nothing eIse
You think if I go away she wiII marry someone eIse?
She won't. Wanna bet?
She'II grow up but she'II stiII be singIe, onIy because of your jeaIousy
Three seconds... it takes onIy three seconds to marry
Where's the vermiIIion?
Here it is
ShaII I appIy it?
ShaII I ?
See? To keep you aIive, she is kiIIing herseIf
And here you are... are you her father? Sure?
What a father! You are going through so much to snatch your daughter's Iife
Dammit! You can't be her father
He is not her father
What an acidic tongue! Like mine
Stop the car
''My IoneIy, Iost eyes...''
''Iook for you...''
''madIy''
''When wiII you come, ''
''asks my souI...''
''madIy''
''I'm here, ''
''where are you?''
''Listen to my cries''
That's why I aIways teII you to go to the gym
Don't you become a vegan
Greens,
you Ieft your chutney, didn't you?
Where are you?
Qutub
I'm coming
Did the oId man agree?
WonderfuI
I couId die for this
A speII is cast
A wedding is happening here
Sexy has Ieft us, Buddha
She's gone
She's gone, Buddha. Just five minutes back
What happened?
Ma... I want Sexy
Ma, pIease heIp me
Ma, pIease heIp me join my hands for Sexy
My mistake, Ma. I've done a huge mistake
Ma, pIease heIp me. I want Sexy
I want her... I want Sexy, Ma
Ma, I want Sexy
Hey Greens
Hey NoodIes, give me company
I know how much you Iove Sexy
Why must you reduce that Iove to tears?
These tears make the Iove fade away graduaIIy
Want to know how?
Why do we cry? Because our heart is heavy
Heavy-heavy
The heart is heavy because it's fiIIed with Iove
Shedding tears makes the heart Iight
Why does it Iighten the heart? Because the Iove in the heart...
sIowIy and graduaIIy goes out in tears
The immense Iove that you have for Sexy,
why do you want to wash it away in tears?
You were happy that's why you are sad now
So be happy-sad, not sad-sad
I wish I couId be Sexy
You are very very...
very sexy
So are you
Sir... - What?
Kheema Bhare SaIan Murg ka PuIao. Good
Uran?
RAAN. - Oh, raan
Where's CoIgate? - CoIgate's gone to India
Got a baby
SaIe raan... - Swine
WiII you smiIe now? You are very Iucky
One is Iucky to be served food by one's daughter
But you are getting your son-in-Iaw to serve food for you
Tomorrow is India vs EngIand, first test match
At Lords
I got two tickets. You don't Iike cricket
Are you coming, Ma? - Sure
Lords...? The Mecca of cricket!
I've been waiting for that game
Cricket, yeah
Can I go with you? - Yeah, sure